One:Don’t let your boyfriend by you shoes. If he buys the wrong size and then you get a blister, and then the blister gets infected and then you end up in hospital because you have to get intravenous antibiotics, you only have him to blame.
Two: If you accidentally end up at a sex party you don’t actually have to have sex. You can totally just walk around on mdma, looking really cute in your underwear, eating avocado seductively and turning down everyone. But having sex is fun too.
Three: Don’t accept people you met at a sex party on facebook.
Four: Just because we’re friends and we’re both gay doesn’t mean we’re gonna bang. It also doesn’t mean you can just kiss me cause you think i’m down. I’m not down. Never was down, never will be down.
Five: Soups are a trending food but you should be eating them all year round.
Six: Find a boy that legit likes you.
Seven: Sometimes its ok to let a strange armenian woman give you a free facial it can even lead to fifty five pounds worth of Soap and Co products. Awesome.
Eight: Don’t call you’re boyfriend asking for directions home from the sex party.
Nine: Its ok to not know what you want.
Ten: Buy flowers even if you can’t afford them.